is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
