Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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