Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Someone came in the potted fern
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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