ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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