covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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