i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
