I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
