He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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