I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
