Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
