ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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