That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
