a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
