Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
