Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
