am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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