So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dignity is for republicans.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
