youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
