I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
