Whod you bang
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
