he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
