If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
