# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize