why didn't you poke me back
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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