it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
