Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
