Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
