if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
