11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
