I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
