Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He kissed a someone with a penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
