new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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