i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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