so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
