Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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