You're my little dorito
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
