My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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