i need an iv and a liver transplant
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize