Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
