hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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