Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
