dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
