i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
