I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
