Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
