I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
