question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
