K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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