McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You need Xanax blowdarts
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
