dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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