i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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