You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
