pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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