Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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