Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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