The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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