I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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