You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
