I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
