Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
