I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
