so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
