She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
